


The Melancholy of July

by GlassAlice



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, Boys Kissing, Boys fighting, Coming of Age, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Birthday Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance Birthday Exchange 2018, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Senior year, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 00:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15473796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassAlice/pseuds/GlassAlice
Summary: To Lance his birthday was bittersweet, always the mark of the end of summer and the beginning of a new school year. Only this time, it was his last summer and that meant that everything was changing. The stress of the end of childhood and the expectations of his future weighed heavily on his shoulders. Now, he was losing his friend too, but with every end a new beginning is born.





	The Melancholy of July

The sun hung low in the sky, swollen red in the hazy atmosphere. Hunk and Pidge were splashing in the pool below. Lance closed his eyes as he listened to their laughter echoing off the walls of the house and floating up to the roof where he sat with Keith. Most of the other guests had left, and now it was down to a scattering of his closest friends. Though, to him, they were closer to family than friends. 

Lance leaned back, letting the last of the sun’s rays soak into his skin and the cool breeze tease goosebumps from each sensitive hair. They’d been diving into the pool from the roof, but on their last climb both boys were overcome by the reds and purples that stained the clouds above. Without speaking a word, they’d sat together to watch the sunset. The sunset that marked the end of Lance’s birthday, the end of summer, and maybe the end of something else that he couldn’t name. 

“What are you smiling about?” Keith asked, legs dangling over the edge. 

Lance shrugged, eyes still fixed on the dying sun. “I’m not smiling.” 

“Hm.” Keith bumped his shoulder against Lance, their skin sun warmed and damp. “Maybe you’re not. You look kinda sad.” 

Silence stretched between them, thick in the humid air. The sun continued its daily display of kaleidoscopic brilliance as it sank.

Lance stretched out on the warmed roof tiles, tucking his hands under his head. “It’s hard to explain, but I guess my birthday means that summer is almost over. But this birthday in particular means that not only summer, but our lives are going to completely change. We’ll never get to be kids again, after this.”

Keith snorted. “Heavy much?”

A blue eye peeked out, shooting daggers at the raven haired boy. “It’s my birthday, I can be bitter if I want to,” Lance sing-songed. 

Another hum floated between them as Keith stretched out next to him. “I’d rather you be happy.”

Lance turned to say something, anything, but the words died on his lips when he was met with the intensity behind Keith's eyes. He quickly turned away, pulse pounding in his ears. 

The sounds of splashing and giggling from below faded. Lance’s heart lurched knowing that today was officially coming to a close. He shoved down the anxious tension that threatened to overtake him at the thought of his friends leavinging. 

Hunk called up to them, waving to get Lance’s attention, “I’m taking Pidge home. Happy birthday Lance! I’ll be over tomorrow.”

Lance shot up, plastering a wide grin on his face. “I can’t wait! Thanks for coming you guys,” he said, voice cheery despite his anxiety. He mentally patted himself on the back. Gesturing at Pidge with his chin, he called out, “You coming tomorrow too?”

“Nah. I want to, but Matt is leaving for college and I gotta do family time. Sorry, Lance.” Pidge jumped up a little and waved. “Happy birthday though! I’ll see you at school.”

Lance waved back, his crooked smile showing off white teeth. “Tell Matt bye for me. See you at school, and thanks again guys.” 

Hunk and Pidge waved until they disappeared under the awning at the edge of the roof, their necks craning at a hilarious angle to keep Lance in view. Said boy balanced precariously off the edge of the roof, hanging upside down to wave as his two friends disappeared behind the french doors.

Keith popped up next to him, laying on his belly. He hung his head over the edge to join Lance, black hair hanging in wet clumps and dripping dark spots onto the deck below. “I should get going too.”

Something about Keith leaving wrenched at his gut and he couldn’t stop himself before saying, “Stay.” Lance avoided looking at Keith, scared of his answer.

Biting his lip, Keith looked back at where Pidge and Hunk used to be. “I don’t know if I should.”

“Spend the night. It’s my birthday, you’re not allowed to say no.” Hands grasping at the ledge, Lance stretched the small gap between them with his pinky. He brushed Keith’s own before sitting up, the blood rushing from his racing heart to his cheeks.

“Okay. I’ll text Shiro.”

Stars pressed ever closer, choking the sun out of the sky. The end of the day was inevitable, yet the sun blazed its most electric while on its deathbed. It was a reminder of how short time really was, how his friendship with Keith was… Well, that wasn’t the point. The point was, Lance hated the sunset.

His smile didn’t reach his eyes when he smirked at Keith. “Race you down?”

Keith didn’t answer, instead launching himself immediately from the roof. Lance yelped and scrambled after him landing with a splash into the pool below.

“That was cheating!” Lance yelled, splashing Keith as he broke the water’s surface. 

Keith retaliated, drenching Lance with surge after surge. Their shrieks of laughter filled the backyard as they dove and wrestled, trying to drown the other. Keith held Lance’s head in a headlock as he tried to pull the other boy underwater, but both boys froze at the sound of the french doors opening.

“Lance! Keith! Dinner!” Lance’s mom called out. 

They splashed each other as they waded through the pool to the steps, feud not forgotten. The stars twinkled and rolled in their wake. Both boy’s chests heaved as they exited the water and smiles stretched across their faces. 

Once they were a safe distance from the water, Keith shot a text asking permission to stay the night. Shiro replied almost instantly with his okay. Lance let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and the static that lit his nerves on fire cooled. 

During dinner Lance couldn’t stop his mind from racing. His gut twisted with the anticipation of the night to come. He didn’t want to think about why spending the night with Keith affected him so. Instead, he dug into his dinner with careful ignorance and feigned placidity.

Soon both boys were dried and fed, their water-pruned fingers smooth once more. Lance gave his friend some spare sleepwear and shoved him into the hall bath. He stuttered an excuse before running to his parent’s bathroom. With careful strokes he focused on scrubbing and moisturizing his face, pushing all his feelings deep into the recesses of his heart.

~*~

Keith pulled the borrowed nightclothes over his head. The soft cotton shirt was too long and a touch too tight, but it smelled like Lance. Keith lifted the collar to his nose and inhaled. His eyelashes fluttered closed as the smell of laundry soap and Lance filled his senses. Stolen moments, the last of their kind. Keith ignored the pang that tugged at his heart.

When Keith returned to Lance’s room only five minutes later, Lance was sat on the floor with his legs bent at funny angles. The awkward pose pulled his sleeping shorts up to reveal muscled thighs that were almost hairless. Keith tried to drag his eyes away, but gave in to his desire when Lance didn’t even look up.

Lance was firmly concentrated on some phone game. Keith used the opportunity to oogle his lanky friend. Purple eyes took in the knot of concentration on Lance’s brow, how his hair fell over his forehead in short spikes, and how his long limbs tried to get comfortable in his hunched position. His heart pounded against his ribs and he was scared it was so loud that it would startle Lance from his game. Keith plopped down a little too far away from the boy that made his heart beat too fast.

Lance’s blue eyes flashed to meet Keith’s for only a moment before returning to the glowing screen clutched between long fingers. “One sec, I almost got this.” 

Keith waited until ominous music sounded from the phone and Lance let out a cry as he tossed the offending object to the carpet. “Dumb game. I don’t like it anyway.”

“Then why play it?” Keith asked absently, too distracted by Lance’s sleepwear.

Lance waved a dismissive hand. “It passes the time. Kinda like these!” He held up a boxset of the original Star Wars movies. 

“Don’t tell me you wanted me to stay so we could watch Star Wars. Again.” 

Lance stuck out his tongue. “I’m the birthday boy and I want to watch Star Wars.”

Keith chuckled and rested his back on Lance’s bed. “Fine. Let’s get it over with, its already late.”

Whooping with glee, Lance put the first DVD into his PlayStation and hit play. Keith steeled himself for six and a half hours of Lance quoting every line. Lance did not disappoint.

~*~

It felt like forever before the credits of the last movie rolled. Sitting in a dark room with Lance next to him had grown to levels of awkward that Keith no longer had the capacity to handle. 

Lance turned off the Playstation and leaned back against the bed as he rubbed his eyes. Heavy silence fell over them, neither one sure what to say. Keith found it hard to think of a conversation topic, mind more focused on how his body seemed to take up too much space. He was hyper aware of every movement and every facial expression he made. He was too concerned about the body heat radiating from Lance’s arm and how the small hairs tickled his skin.

Lance just shrugged his shoulders. Ignoring the question he scooted over till their elbows touched. Screwing up his nose as if the words were bitter as he spoke them, he said, “Have you thought about it?” 

Keith swallowed the lump in his throat, his mind racing and tripping over itself for an answer. A blush spread across his face, and he clamped his teeth together before he said something he regretted.

“About what?” It came out breathless and tight. Keith could feel the body heat between them, and he shifted uncomfortably.

“About _it_ , all of it. College, jobs, student loans, the collapse of America and how we’re supposed to save the world when we don’t even know how to be apart of it yet. Y’know. _It._ ”

Wide purple eyes turned to stare into deep blue. Their noses were so close, it would be so easy-- “Not really. We still have one more year left.”

Lance sat back and Keith finally felt like he could breathe again. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Lance chewed on his lip as he struggled to find words that matched his thoughts. “But this is the beginning of the end. Or the end of the beginning. I’m not sure which. But everything is about to change, we’ll never be able to come back. To _this_.”

Lance put a hand on top of Keith’s. 

It was gone so fast that Keith only knew it happened by the residual warmth on his skin. He shook his head, black locks tickling his neck. “You’re not making any sense.”

A sound of frustration marked the end of the conversation, and Keith wondered if he’d said the wrong thing. He nervously picked at the carpet as Lance retrieved his phone and opened his game again. 

_How to fix it?_ He opened his mouth and said the first thing he could think of, “I’ve always planned to take a break after school.” Lance’s head perked up but he continued to play.

 _Good, Keith, keep talking,_ he thought to himself. 

“We’ve been going, going, going since we were five years old. I figured I deserved a year off before I went to university or whatever I decide to do.” Keith shrugged.

Lance’s thumb continued to scroll but his eyes were unfocused. “You aren’t going to college?”

Keith shifted. “I don’t know what I want to do, and I don’t want to waste money trying to find out. So I thought I’d wait until I figured myself out.”

“So you’re leaving?” Lance’s voice was cold, his thumb hovering over the screen. 

Keith shivered from the sudden chill in the room. “I don’t know, maybe. It might be nice. What are you going to do?”

Keith didn’t know smiles could convey so many emotions until he’d met Lance. It seemed that Lance had a smile for every emotion and he prided himself on his ability to read all of them. Only, this one he’d never seen before and it scared him. It was so sad and full of self-hate that it took all his strength not to wrap Lance in his arms and tell him everything would be okay.

“Pidge and Hunk got accepted to MIT, you’re going to travel the world, and I…” Lance bit his lip, willing his wet eyes dry. With a growl, he swiped at the unshed tears with irate fists. “I’m going to be left behind,” Lance’s voice choked on the words. 

Keith’s hands froze, hovering motionless halfway between them. The barrier that separated them, that kept every interaction platonic and friendly, held his muscles in place. “That’s not true.” 

“Easy for you to say, you got accepted to Berkeley,” Lance spat, ocean eyes turning stormy grey.

Keith’s hands fell to his lap along with his eyes. “How do you know that,” he whispered.

Lance wrapped his arms around himself, phone laying face down in his lap. “Shiro was bragging to my mom.”

Groaning, Keith ran a hand through his hair. He cursed as his fingers tangled in the strands. “I was going to tell everyone. You. About it. But I don’t even know if I’m going.”

“Of course you’re going, it’s _Berkeley_. Even Shiro didn’t make it into Berkeley. He’s really proud of you, you know,” Lance’s voice was soft and careful, as if he were building a wall around each word. The same wall that’d been between them since they met. The wall had many names throughout the years starting with rivalry and ending on friendship. Keith hated the wall. 

Lance’s tears dried almost as quickly as they came, and his normal mask slid back into place, though there were cracks in it now. 

“Berkeley suits you. I wish I could go. I wish it suited me.” Lance tried and failed to hide the hiccups that broke through his words. 

Keith sighed, “You’re really smart. If you applied I bet you could get into MIT or Berkeley or any other university you wanted.” 

“English is my second language, and I can barely follow what Hunk and Pidge talk about half the time. No, I’ll figure stuff out. I talked to my uncle, he has a company in Cuba. Russia is starting a space program there, you know. I could work for him while I try to get into the program,” Lance mused, looking out the window. 

Keith slammed his fist to the floor, making Lance to jump. “Hypocrite,” Keith ground out through gritted teeth. “You’re so worried everyone is leaving you when you’re thinking about moving to a different country! Does Hunk know about your little plan?”

Lance stared wide-eyed at Keith and shook his head. 

“So you weren't planning on telling anyone you were going back to Cuba? You were just going to leave me?” Keith bit his tongue, hoping Lance would look over his slip up. The tang of blood filled his mouth as anger and betrayal bubbled up from his chest and blazed through his veins.

Lance clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. “Everyone is going to be gone anyway. You won’t even miss me.”

“Of course I’m going to miss you.” Keith punched the floor again, he could feel a rug burn stinging his knuckles. “Oh my God, I can’t believe you. What’s Hunk going to say when he hears this?” Keith asked, shaking his head.

“Why are you so obsessed with Hunk? Huh? Hunk is my _friend_ , he’d understand unlike _some people_.” Lance felt like he was coiled tight like a spring. All the feelings from his carefree past felt crushed by the pressure of his future and it boiled inside him like steam. His words shot from his mouth like bullets, “Hunk would hug me and wish me luck, he wouldn’t _punch my carpet._ ”

“I’m your friend too! Yet you don’t seem to care about that, or about anything. You won’t even touch me anymore!” Keith’s voice cracked on the last word. 

That was the trigger point for Lance. His emotions boiled over, taking control of his actions. He launched himself at Keith, knocking him to the floor. Lance raised his fist in preparation to strike. “You take that back!” he screamed.

“No! Go ahead, punch me. Do it!” Keith screamed right back, his temper peaking. 

Lance brought his fist down with all his strength, landing a blow into the carpet. “Fuck off,” he whispered, still pinning Keith beneath him. “You don’t understand.”

“Understand what? That you have a loving family that supports you and wants you to succeed? That will stand behind you every step of the way? What do I have, huh? I have Shiro and one acceptance letter to a University that will put me in debt for the rest of my life. So no. _You_ fuck off.” Keith shoved Lance without much effort. Lance went willingingly, the need to fight beginning to ebb.

“I’m sorry, I forgot that…”

“That I’m an orphan?” Keith sighed, putting a shaking hand on Lance’s and lacing their fingers together. Lance’s hands were sweaty and shaking, but they grasped back, holding onto Keith for dear life. 

Lance looked down at their hands then up at Keith. “I’m sorry.”

Keith shrugged and scooted closer to Lance. “I’m sorry, too.”

“Friends?” Lance squeezed his fingers along with the question.

Keith couldn’t help the acid that snuck its way into his answer, “Yeah, just friends.”

Lance’s grip loosened, and he looked away. “It’s okay if you don’t want to be friends with me anymore.”

Feeling the wall forming between them again, Keith let go. He was sick of this game they played, dancing around each other and their feelings. At least Keith knew his own feelings but he was done guessing Lance’s. 

Taking a deep breath, Keith summoned all his courage and turned to Lance. “No, I don’t want to be your friend anymore.” 

Blue eyes widened then crumpled. Lance nodded in a slow jerking motion. “Oh.” It was more of a breath than word.

“I can’t do this anymore, Lance.” Keith gestured between them. “And I know you know what I mean. I need to hear it clearly. How do you feel about me?”

The birds chirped outside the cracked window and Lance looked toward the sound, eyes glassy. His mouth moved soundlessly as his mind raced. It wasn’t as simple as feelings, this was more complicated. Maybe if he’d confessed back in their second year, they’d have time. But, what was the point of doing it the year before graduation? The year before Keith would leave him?

“You’re my friend,” Lance said, his voice shaking. 

“Bullshit,” Keith spat. He stood, pulled off his borrowed shirt, and threw it at Lance. Lance sat there stupefied, looking at Keith with wide eyes. 

“I’m going home,” Keith growled.

“It’s the middle of the night.” Lance checked the time on his phone. “Or extremely early morning. How are you getting home?”

“Walking.” Keith grabbed his own shirt and pulled it over his head. 

Lance half stood up, shirt clutched tight between trembling fingers. “You’re, like, twenty minutes away _by car_.”

Keith glared behind him, meeting Lance’s eyes without wavering. “Don’t care. Happy birthday, Lance.” He slammed the bedroom door behind him.

Lance looked down at the crumpled shirt in his hands as if it would give him the answers to all the questions that collided in his head. Making up his mind, he threw the shirt on the ground and launched himself at the door. He slammed heavily into it before swinging it open and tearing down the hall. He stopped only for a moment to slip on his shoes, without socks, and ran out of the house. 

He scanned the street for any trace of Keith but saw nothing. He jogged in the direction of Keith’s house, craning his neck as he scanned for any sign of life on the dark sidewalk. 

It wasn’t long before he saw the familiar mullet he’d recognize even if he went blind. 

“Keith!” he called out desperately, maybe a little too loud for the early morning of a quiet neighborhood. 

Keith’s pace picked up, but Lance chased after him. When he got close, Lance reached out to grab anything he could and ended up with a fistfull of cotton T-shirt. He tugged, pulling both of them to a stop. 

“Keith, will you listen to me?” Lance panted, chest heaving from the chase. 

Purple eyes glared over a stiff shoulder. “I don’t have anything to talk about.”

Lance sighed and ran a free hand through his short hair. “I was wrong. I lied. You’re more than a friend to me, Keith. I…” Lance squeezed his eyes shut. He could feel Keith turn and untangle Lance’s fist from the soft shirt. He entwined their fingers again, like they’d been in Lance’s room.

Taking a deep breath, Lance jumped in with both feet. “I like you. I want to be more than friends. Even if it’s only for a year, even if we go down in flames. I want to try.”

Lance’s eyes fluttered open when a thumb brushed his cheek. Keith was only a hair’s breadth away. “That’s all I could ask for.”

Lance touched their noses together, their breath warm and mixing between them. “Can I kiss you?” 

Keith closed the distance between them, lips coming together in a clash of frustration and relief. Lance brought his hands up to run through Keith’s hair, tugging on the ends to pull the other boy closer. Their hands ran feverish and greedy in the waning darkness. Blue light crested over the horizon, casting the world in a soft glow. The two boys pulled apart, panting and flushed. 

Lance couldn’t remember who laughed first, it might have been simultaneous for all he knew. All he could remember was that they clutched onto each other like they were an anchor in a storm. They collapsed to the rough concrete, mad with laughter, tears running down their cheeks.

It was the end of summer, the end of childhood, and the end of his friendship with Keith. But, maybe beginnings could blossom into something greater than the endings they sprouted from. Lance smiled as the stars faded from the sky. If Lance was a sunset, then Keith was his hope for the dawn.

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> I had a huge struggle with a slump. Slump being the nice word for it. I've been pretty broken when it comes to writing. No confidence and hating everything I put down on paper. I wrote a fic for the LBE 3x. THREE TIMES. But this fic has been a breath of fresh air. The end of a struggle as I try to pick up the pieces that are myself. I really hope this left you smiling sadly to yourself. If it did then I did my job well. Remember that all endings have a beginning and with each new adventure we grow. 
> 
> Happy birthday Lance! and I hope you enjoyed your gift [whathellisastiles](https://whathellisastiles.tumblr.com) !!!
> 
> Hang out with me on Tumblr [@Yuzuling](http://yuzuling.tumblr.com) or on discord @Yuzuling7567 /o/
> 
> My sweet and wonderful betas who swooped in at the last moment to make sure my poor ass didn't post shit:  
> [Hytone195](http://hytone195.tumblr.com)  
> [Shanimal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shanimalx)  
> 


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